conscious monogamy

Episode #159: A Conversation on Queerness with My Inner Circle of Queer Bbs Rachel, Kels & Kristen

Did I ever think I’d have a former partner, a queer platonic partner and a platonic life partner together for an in depth conversation around all things queerness? If you had told me a few years ago, I would have been like hell no. I didn’t even know platonic partnership could be a thing back then. AND to have former partners of mine want to participate in my world and be willing to navigate the nuance and intricacies of de-escalation alongside of me while also witnessing me in partnership? I imagined it — hoped for it — but to have it realized is such a gift.

I love these humans. They are some of my most treasured folks in my inner constellation of loved ones. I have learned so much from being in partnership and in sphere with Rach (she/her), Kels (they/them) and Kristen (she/her). And I am just so f*cking excited to share this conversation with one of you.

It might just be my favorite episode to date.

Things we talk about in todays episode:

  • queer-ness as a celebration of anti-normative living and being

  • the idea of hierarchy and the variety of what commitment can look like in relationships

  • romantic, platonic relationships

  • internalized homophobia

  • the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality

  • how the patriarchy and comp het impacts queer dynamics

  • and a shit ton of goofy energy and personal stories

CONNECT WITH KRISTEN, RACH & KELS:

Instagram: Kristen | Rach | Kels

LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:

Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off

Episode 100: This Is Pride (We’re Here And We’re Queer)

Rachels previous episodes: Episode 148: Platonic Intimacy & Why We Really Went On A Break | Episode 86 | Episode 64: How Fluid id Sexuality Anyways? | Episode 51: Breaking the Stigma of Therapy | Episode 37: The Truth About Anxiety | Episode 9

WORK, SUPPORT & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Snag one of Amanda’s June somatic embodiment coaching pop up sessions : 60 mins | 90 mins

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

Episode #151: Let's Talk Relationship Anarchy | A Conversation With Abby Rosmarin

You’ve asked for an entire episode on all things relationship anarchy and I’m so stoked to be kicking off the conversation and deep dive into all things relationship anarchy with the one person that’s made me feel the most seen by sharing their lived experience as a demisexual relationship anarchist who has been in polyamorous and monogamous dynamics alike : Abby Rosmarin aka my mutual and friend on Tik Tok (and in real life) @notjennifergarner

Abby (she/they) is a writer, content creator, mental health professional, trauma-informed yoga instructor, and former commercial model. She is the author of 7 books, including the Amazon Bestseller The Ballerina's Guide to Boxing. She is also known as NotJenniferGarner on TikTok, where she has amassed nearly half a million followers. Abby is also getting her Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

This conversation felt like a warm hug to my heart, and I know it will feel that way for you too. So cozy up with us and let’s fucking go baby!

Things highlighted in todays episode:

  • what relationship anarchy is / means to both Abby and Amanda

  • relationship anarchy being occasionally equated to abuse

  • autonomy being falsely equated with lack of accountability

  • nuance is everything

  • ways to tangibly live out relationship anarchist values

  • platonic partners, hierarchy, comp het and comp monogamy, intention and beyond

CONNECT WITH ABBY:

Abby’s Instagram | Tik Tok | Patreon

Buy Abby’s Books

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Relationship Anarchy Manifesto

Relationship libertarian

Episode 145 : Abuse in Non Monogamy

Crony Capitalism

Amanda’s Fuck Yes Relationship Manifesto

Multiamory

WORK & CONNECT WITH AMANDA:

Patreon - join her “close friends” list on Instagram at the $5+ level

Fucking Queer Merch

Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits

Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok

Join her email list for very occasional gifts & announcements in your inbox

Episode #105: All Things Polyamory Q&A | A Conversation With My Husband

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Is monogamy the only way to build a conscious, loving and lifelong relationship?

I used to believe it was the only way. But as you know, as I shared in episode 101, after 8 years together, we moved away from the monogamous framework and stepped into the ethical non monogamous space two years ago.

I know that people have MANY strong feelings around this (and it makes sense! Monogamy is what our society is built around and I definitely had my fair share of concerns and shame spiral around even the thought of considering it for years before we moved in that direction), and I’ve been getting LOADS of questions in my Instagram DMs so I decided to bring on a super special guest — my incredibly goofy and wonderful husband — to dig into what our unique journey into polyamory has looked like.

We are certainly not experts when it comes to polyamory, ethical non monogamy or relationships — you can listen to a bunch of previous podcast episodes around relationships, sex and beyond from the experts — but I do think that almost 10 years of going through the shit with a human entitles us to have some shit to say that’s worth sharing. And hell, we are certainly experts on OUR unique individual experiences in the world of ethical non monogamy and polyamory.

And today on the podcast, we deep dive into some pretty dense topics around relationship longevity, health and beyond and I am THE MOST excited to share this conversation with you all.

Things we discuss on todays episode:

  • My husband’s unique perspective around why polyamory and ENM feels aligned for him

  • How we opened the door to transition from YEARS of monogamy and how we ended up identifying as polyamorous

  • The difference between affairs/cheating and non monogamy

  • The multiple umbrellas of non monogamy: swinging, polyamory etc.

  • Attraction and relationship preferences are a spectrum as much as sexuality & gender is

  • A deep dive into some of the ups and downs of this journey, both as individuals and as a couple

  • ENM terms like unicorn hunting, triad vs. throuple, nesting/anchor partner, non hierarchical vs. hierarchical polyamory

  • Navigating jealousy and insecurities we’ve both experienced in our journey

  • Boundaries, communication and agreements & the path to figure that shit out being MESSY AF

  • All things fantasy/kink, how polyamory isn’t really so different than monogamy, ridiculous banter between the two of us and so much more.